2012 Oscar Picks and Predictions

Well, I've managed to somehow hobble through yet another year and I'm back for more Oscar talk. I'm doing it a little different this year. I usually start with the small awards and build up to the big best movie award but I figured I'd do the opposite this time. Firstly, nobody cares about those awards. Secondly, by time I got to the best picture award I always had to repeat stuff I had already said. I'm also trying to keep it a bit shorter than previous years. So I'm going to start out with the awards people actually care about. Going to go a bit in depth in the best movies first,then go through the acting ones and make a few comments then I'll just make go through the stupid awards very quickly. As always, this is mostly about my picks. I will also be making predictions, but for the most part this is about what I liked, not what I think the old farts in the Academy will actually pick. Every list of nominees is ranked from last to first. I'll also be sharing my own list of nominees. 

Here we go!

BEST MOTION PICTURE

9 - “The Tree of Life"

Terrence Malick is the most over-rated director in the history of movies. His movies rarely make sense, rarely tell a story and are rarely seen. Yet the 10 people who DO watch them claim he's a genius and if you don't like the movie you just don't get it, maaaaan.  

I'm not above being too cool for the room guy. I love all kinds of quirky idiotic non-sense that the mainstream will never tolerate. But this is just too much. Watching a Malick movie is like watching Ed Wood try to make a Lars Von Trier movie. And as much as I hate Malick and every movie he has made, Tree of Life is BY FAAAAAAAAAARRR the worst thing he's done. And, yes, I will 100% honestly say this is one of the worst movies I've ever seen.

Calling it a movie is a bit of a stretch though. It's more like a 2 and a half hour long montage of random scenes. It's a music video with no music. Just a bunch of random shots of crap nobody wants to see. People rarely even talked on screen, like you'd hear them talking, but you'd just see them sitting there sad without their mouths moving. Then insert random scenes of birds flying or trees being blown in the wind. Every once in a while Sean Penn would pop in out of nowhere just wondering through a building or walking in the desert for no reason. 20 minutes into the movie the whole thing stops and we get a 15-20 minute montage of planets and volcanoes erupting. It all feels very 2001-ish if Stanley Kubrick was retarded. The whole thing is insanely pretentious and comes off as movie making masturbation. And I haven't even talked about the DINOSAURS.  

I have no idea what this movie was about and I don't think anybody involved in its creation has any idea either. The best comment I've seen on this movie was "I feel like I just watched a screen saver".

8  -  “Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close”

As much as I hate Tree of Life, I can understand why it was nominated. People have a hard on for Malick and think he's some great genius, blah, blah, blah. While Extremely Loud is not nearly as bad as Tree of Life, I cannot for the life of me come up with a single reason why anybody would nominate this for best picture. It's mediocre at its best, insulting at its worst and once again, insanely pretentious.  

I love a good sad movie. Whether it's through happiness or sadness, if a movie can bring a tear to my eye, I think that's powerful stuff. But it has to happen organically. A movie has to DESERVE my tears. This movie doesn't deserve them because all it does is desperately TRY to make you cry. It is a truly pathetic attempt to yank any kind of emotion out of you that it can. It employs every single hack, trick, cliché Hollywood has ever used in a piss poor attempt to make you tear up. But since nearly every single character in the movie is either highly annoying or incredibly bland, it's not going to make people cry.

Oh, wait. I take that back. Of course it's going to make people cry. Because it needlessly uses and exploits the biggest tragedy in American history that is still way too fresh in way too many minds. Yes, the whole movie revolves around 9/11. Why? I have no idea. It's not necessary in the least. It's just blatant exploitation at its worst. It doesn't add a single thing to any character in the movie and it adds nothing to the story.

The story revolves around an infuriating and annoying kid whose father died in 9/11. But the way the father dies does NOT add anything to this story. He could've died in a car wreck. He could've died in Iraq. He could've died from cancer. He could've been shot in a robbery. But no, none of this happens because the filmmakers wanted to be able to shove all that awful imagery down our throats. They wanted to show the smoking buildings, they wanted to show the paper flying everywhere and best of all they wanted to show MANY close up shots of Tom Hanks falling to his death from the top of a burning and collapsing World Trade Center. It's all such a shameless ploy to be a tearjerker that it winds up doing the opposite as it borders on becoming comedy. It would make a great drinking game. Take a drink every time Tom Hanks jumps out the window. Take a drink every time a character says a line of dialogue that is so over the top flowery that it sounds like it was written by Emily Dickinson. Take a drink every time the annoying kid shakes his tambourine and makes you want to punch him in the face.

The only thing I found good about this movie was Sandra Bullock. I thought she excelled in her role and was probably the best performance of her career. It boggles my mind that she is ignored for this yet won for that Blind Side garbage.

7 - “Moneyball"

Speaking of needless movies. Good gravy, who thought this "story" deserved to be turned into a movie? You thought making Facebook into a movie was bad? Well, get a load of this one. A movie about baseball stats!  YAY! The thing is, at least there was a story behind Facebook, there's NO story here. There's enough story here to write a few sports blogs, but to make a movie out of? The movie itself is very slow and boring. I would describe it exactly like I described Social Network. It's 2 hours of rich white people talking. And my biggest complaint is that if you actually follow sports you understand that nearly every second of this movie is BS.

The movie presents the story as this. In 2001 the Oakland A's lost Jason Giambi, Jason Isringhausen and Johnny Damon to free agency and the team was expected to tank without them. Billy Beane (Brad Pitt) meets an intern (Jonah Hill) who thinks the way baseball people draft and sign players is flawed and he uses math equations to pick the actual good players. So Beane, knowing that he can't compete with big market teams with his low payroll, makes this intern kid his assistant GM and they start signing a bunch of cheap lugs to fill in the empty holes and they keep winning without Giambi, Isringhausen and Damon.

Hold up.  I've got some issues here.

A) - The character Jonah Hill plays doesn't exist. So already this is a MAJOR screw job to the actual story.  And with the way the character is presented in the movie, he does EVERYTHING. If you follow the movie, there is no reason why Billy Beane should be credited as the guy who brought "moneyball" into baseball. The movie constantly shows that Beane does nothing but ask this guy which player they should get and then he gets him. All I got out of this movie is that Beane should've been fired and this intern kid should've been GM. Beane has a book about him and now a movie about him but according to the movie he didn't do a damn thing.

B) - According to the movie the A's lost those three players and this left the team in complete shambles.  Beane replaces these guys with an injured Scott Hatteberg, a washed up David Justice and Chad Bradford, a reliever that the scouts didn't like because he threw funny. That's it. That's all he did and somehow this created a winning team. The movie presents this team as if it was a bunch of morons and rejects.  They present it as if it was the Cleveland Indians from the Major League movies but these three small additions turn the team's fortunes around all by themselves. But in reality the A's still had a tremendous amount of talent on the team. The movie ignores Miguel Tejada, a 6 time all star and a future MVP of the league. It ignores Eric Chavez, a 6 time Gold Glove winner and the winner of the Silver Slugger award the year this movie is set in. It ignores Jermaine Dye, another All Star, another winner of both Gold Glove and Silver Slugger awards and a future World Series MVP. Look at the numbers. That year Tejada and Chavez alone combined for 68 homeruns, 240 RBI and 195 runs. Hatteberg and Justice combined for 26 homeruns, 110 RBI and 112 runs.  The movie also ignores the fact that Chad Bradford was already on the team the year before. So he was already there before the moneyball system was even being used.

But the most glaring omission of all is Barry Zito, Mark Mulder and Tim Hudson. Hudson is mentioned only one time in the movie, in passing, but for the most part these three pitchers are completely ignored and their contributions to the team are never mentioned. If you're not in the loop, let me fill you in. Zito, Mulder and Hudson were pretty much the best pitching rotation in the league. They were so dominate that they were nicknamed The Big Three. Mulder is a two time All Star and a World Series winner. Hudson is a three time All Star and once led the entire league in wins, as an A. Zito is another three time All Star and won the Cy Young THE YEAR THIS MOVIE IS SET. But none of that is mentioned. The movie also doesn't mention Billy Koch. Koch was the pitcher who replaced Jason Isringhausen as the A's closer. The previous year, Isringhausen had 34 saves for the A's. His replacement, Koch, came in and had 44 and won the reliever of the year award. None of that is mentioned. The movie acts like the A's didn't have any pitchers. That they were down to using a pitching machine during games. In real life, the "moneyball" concept didn't have nearly the affect on the A's winning that year as having 3 All Star pitchers and the best reliever in baseball had, but yet NONE of that is mentioned because it gets in the way of the boring meaningless story they're trying to tell.

C) - The entire "moneyball" concept is a total failure.  Going into the movie I knew the A's did not win the World Series that year. They have never won it since. They've been a very mediocre team for a decade now. Billy Beane and all his fancy numbers never amounted to anything. So I went into the movie wondering just how the hell it was going to end. The sports movie always has to end with the team winning in the end doesn't it? Well, they end the movie by trying to say Billy Beane changed the face of baseball forever. He didn't win the World Series but he completely revolutionized the way teams view players, stats and contracts. He changed everything.

But he didn't. He changed nothing. Several teams in baseball adopted the moneyball concept and they all failed. Just look at the A's themselves. Since implementing this system 10 years ago the A's have made the playoffs only 3 teams and have had 4 losing seasons a 1 .500 season. Look at the Mets. They implemented the system and have been one of the worst teams in the league. The only team that actually won anything using moneyball was the Boston Red Sox but they had a payroll 100 million dollars higher than the A's had which did a hell of a lot more for them than the moneyball crap did.

Add all that to the fact that the movie is slow, boring and every actor seems to be sleepwalking and I don't get this pick one bit. I'm not saying it's a bad movie. I'm just saying it ain't a good one.

6 - "War Horse"

War Horse is just weird. I had hopes for it but they didn't last long. I thought I was going into this serious WWI movie about a boy and his horse and instead I got some weird mish mash kids war movie. I don't know what this movie was and it doesn't seem like Spielberg knew exactly what he was trying to do with it. All the stuff with the horse comes off very silly and childish because they made the horse this super intelligent thing that can apparently understand the English language with no problem whatsoever. All the kid has to do is tell the horse what he wants him to do and he does it. Then the horse is making friends with other horses. And there is this duck that seems to understand everything too so he runs after the bad guys and tries to bite them on the ankles. The people are possibly even more annoying than the animals because every single character that sees this horse seems to fall in love with it and goes on and on about what an amazing creature it is. They act like it's some magical mystical thing. It completely feels like I'm watching Babe with a horse instead of a pig. It feels like a talking animal movie that forgot to make the animals talk.

But counteracting all the kids movie antics is the war part. The war scenes are as brutal as most any other war movie. People are getting shot, stabbed, sliced, blown up, gassed and killed off by the dozens. You've got people getting executed, you've got hints at rape and other nasty things and then in the middle of all this serious crap is this weird kids movie about this talking horse that doesn't talk. It's like if Garfield showed up in Saving Private Ryan. It makes NO sense. I keep mentioning talking animals because I spent most of the movie wishing the animals could talk. If the animals could talk, then the movie would make sense. Both in that I would at least figure out that this was supposed to be a kids movie and in that I would also be able to understand why this horse did the amazingly unbelievable things it did if I knew it was a talking horse. But the horse didn't talk and as a result the movie was a mess.

To make matters even more messy and confusing, the movie is basically an anthology movie. The movie starts with the horse with the kid on the farm. We get to know all these characters and get involved with their story but then it gets sold to the British army. Now all those farm characters have been replaced with brand new characters and a new storyline. Just when you're settled in with that, oh no, the horse gets taken by the German army and now we have another new cast and another storyline. Hope you don't get interested in these guys because a little while later they get killed and the horse ends up living on a French farm. Like this part? Well, too bad, it's over. The horse is now taken by the French army. Reset! Now the horse gets pissed at the French and goes AWOL. Ends up back with the British. WTF is going on? And in the middle of all this is one of the corniest scenes in movie history. The horse gets stuck in barbed wire in-between the British and German armies. Guess what happens? The two sides stop fighting and work together to free the horse. You know, like they would in real life. Complete cornball non-sense.

At the end of the day the biggest problem I had is that the movie really didn't have a point. It didn't say anything about anything. It was just a horse that went to war, met a bunch of people and then went home. Every single major plot point of this movie is in the 2 minute trailer. There's nothing here. It's just an empty void. I was sitting there watching it and during one of the big war scenes I just started looking at the set, all the people, all the horses, all the guns, cannons, tanks and I got really angry. I started thinking these people wasted multi-multi-multi-millions of dollars on creating this POINTLESS tripe. That money could've done so much good in this world, but instead it was used to make a talking horse movie where the horse doesn't even talk.

5 - “Hugo"

Hugo is a movie I really don't have much to say about. It just sat there. I watched it then got up and it went away. Visually it felt like a bit of a mess. Just too much going on at once. I figure if you saw this in 3D on the big screen it was probably amazing. But at home in old fashioned D it feels way too busy and convoluted. The story didn't hold my interest at all. I couldn't tell you what it was about except that its plot was almost exactly the same as Extremely Loud except this kid's father died in a fire instead of 9/11. One problem for me personally is that from the very first second and through every single frame of the movie, it reminded me of City of Lost Children. It felt like an over-budgeted, dumbed down, more childish and happy version of City of Lost Children. City of Lost Children is one of my favorite movies so watching Hugo I just kept thinking, I wish I wasn't watching this and that I was watching City of Lost Children again. All in all I just found the movie very mediocre.

4 -  “The Artist” *predicted to win*

I like The Artist. I really do. It was fun and different and all that.I enjoyed the movie very much....

BUT.

I just don't get the hype. More than that, it kinda pisses me off. I love old movies. I will almost always pick the 1940 movie over the 2012 movie. Less colors = more gooder. I love silent movies as well. The older movies were made by true artists in a time when even the studios actually cared about putting out quality material instead of basing a movie around how many toys or collectible cups they could sell. A time when they made movies to last, not to get one good opening weekend and one good first week of DVD sales before everybody realizes it stinks. But I'm in the minority in feeling this way. So many people act like watching a black and white movie is boring, trying to get them to watch one without sound is impossible. Yet many of these some people who despise black and white movies and silent movies are scorching their shorts over The Artist because it's different from the norm. I don't get it. Sure it's cool they recreated the silent film era almost perfectly. That's awesome. But what is making people who would normal despise a silent movie like this one? I have no idea. Why is a modern day recreation of something old considered cool while the thing it's recreating is not?

If you take the silent film aspect away from The Artist you can plainly see that it's nothing more than an average rom-com. There's nothing compelling or unique about its story. It's just the same old thing presented in a somewhat unique way. For some reason this makes it "amazing" because it came out in 2012. But if this came out in 1925 nobody would give a crap. It's simply getting the attention because it's a silent movie in 2012, it's not getting it because it's a GREAT silent movie. If The Artist had to go up against other great silent movies, it would get slaughtered. It wouldn't be looked back on as one of the great movies of the silent film era. It would've just been one of a million that might get played on TCM's Silent Sunday Nights once every couple of years.

It's a good movie, no question, but it's not great. It's not deserving of the hype and it's not deserving of this award. If you want to see a great silent movie see The General.  See Metropolis. See City Lights, Nosferatu, Cabinet of Dr Caligari, Sherlock Jr, The Gold Rush, The Passion of Joan of Arc, Birth of a Nation, Intolerance, The Battleship Potemkin, The Phantom of the Opera, Broken Blossoms, Steamboat Bill Jr, The Kid, Ben-Hur, Wings, The Unknown, The Circus, The Man Who Laughs, The Lodger, A Trip to the Moon, It, the list goes on and on and on for days. There are silent movies out there that did things that would be amazing today with computers, made back then its breath taking. Charlie Chaplin and Buster Keaton were two of the most ground breaking and inventive film geniuses of all time. When you watch those movies you see stuff that was never seen before and never seen since. You watch The Artist and all you'll see is the same rom-com that comes out every couple of weeks except they used some computer filters to make it look old.  Ooooh, wow.

3 - "The Descendants"

I enjoyed The Descendants but I've sat here staring for 10 minutes trying to think of something to say about it.  For me it's one of those movies if I had seen months ago I'd probably be raving about it, but knowing that it's won a million awards and it's nominated for a million more it makes it a bit underwhelming even though it IS great. It's not a movie that's going to blow you away or anything but it's solid. Well written, well directed, and well acted.  Every character is interesting and every cast member hits a home run. It might even make you cry without having to resort to showing you Tom Hanks falling from the top of the Twin Towers. It's funny and sad, depressing and uplifting.  t may be #3 on this list but if anything in my top 3 won I'd be happy.

2 - "The Help"

I know. I'm supposed to hate this movie. I should loathe everything about it. But it ended up being surprisingly enjoyable. I didn't come out of it screaming OH MY GOD THIS IS AWWWEEEEEEESOOOOMMEEEE but it's exactly like The Descendants. It's well directed, it's well written and it's well acted and you really can't ask for much more than that these days. The entire cast was great. It's just a good, solid movie. It also managed to not be everything I feared it would be. I figured it would end up being one of those Fried Green Tomatoes type chick flicks. It may have come close a couple of times but it never fully went that far with it. I was also worried about the racial aspect. Hollywood is just amazingly stupid when it comes to race. I expected to see another embarrassing turd like Crash. I expected to see either the evil whitey stereotype or the poor black people can't do anything for themselves and need white people to help them stereotype. But I honestly felt the movie avoided both those stereotypes and seemed to present the race issues of those times with as much honesty as one could expect from a modern day Hollywood film. It didn't sugar coat what was happening at the time, but it also doesn't portray every black person as a noble, innocent victim. There are no broad strokes in this movie. The movie ends up being not about race, but about how people treat other people. It's also a movie that deftly switches back and forth between laugh out loud comedy to tear jerking sadness. It also features a very lengthy storyline about a woman eating a pie made out of shit. Plus it has Emma Stone in it. Even with stupid hair and being uglied up for the role, she still makes my pants uncomfortable.

1 - "Midnight in Paris"

If you had told me before I started watching this year's movies that I'd wind up picking the Woody Allen movie as my favorite of the bunch I might've decided to not watch them this year. But it's the only movie out of all 9 that grabbed hold of me from the very first second to the very last. It's smart, charming and, most of all, fun. It's one of those rare movies where you can see that every actor is having fun and enjoying the hell out of what they're doing and that fun is contagious the viewer. It's also a movie that has something to say. It has a message. And that is something that the rest of these movies, even the ones I liked, didn't really have. It's a bit weird that the light romantic comedy/time traveling adventure from Woody Allen is the most impactful movie of the bunch, but it truly is. Yet it's not going to beat you over the head with any messages either. It's a movie that you can certainly watch and just enjoy the time traveling fun and interesting, quirky, fun characters or you can look a little deeper and try to figure out other things going on. There's layer after layer after layer and every layer is great. It's as much a love letter to Hollywood as The Artist was but at the same time a biting critique of it as well.

I loved this movie but I really don't want to say much about it. I went into it cold, not knowing exactly what was going to go on and that made it even better. I just encourage people to see it for themselves. The sad thing is Woody Allen movies are a bit like the black and white and silent movies I discussed earlier. My whole life it seems everybody hates Woody Allen movies. Anybody around my age and younger seems to think Woody Allen movies are only for old people and they wouldn't be caught dead watching one. I was caught up in that for much of my life as well, until I actually watched one and realize everybody was retarded. If you don't think Woody Allen is funny, you're just insane. He's the most sarcastic smartass who ever lived. I've never seen anything funnier than when he gets out of the car in Annie Hall and says "Don't worry, we can walk to the curb from here." Ok, it's not funny in print but whatever.

If I picked the nominees...

Warrior

Drive

Beginners

The Iron Lady

The Help

The Descendants

The Artist

Midnight in Paris

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

BEST DIRECTING

500 - Terrence Malick for “The Tree of Life”

4 - Martin Scorsese for “Hugo”

3 - Michel Hazanavicius for “The Artist” *prediction*

2 - Alexander Payne for “The Descendants”

1 - Woody Allen for “Midnight in Paris”

I think I've made my thoughts on these movies pretty clear and directing pretty much falls the same way.  I'm tempted to put Scorsese over Hazanavicius but I didn't because who gives a crap.

If I picked the nominees...

Michel Hazanavicius for “The Artist” 

Alexander Payne for “The Descendants”

Woody Allen for “Midnight in Paris”

David Fincher for "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo"

Phyllida Lloyd for "The Iron Lady"

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY

5 - Michel Hazanavicus for “The Artist"

4 - Kristen Wiig & Annie Mumolo for “Bridesmaids”

3 - J.C. Chandor for “Margin Call”

2 - Asghar Farhadi for “A Separation”

1 - Woody Allen for “Midnight in Paris”

The Artist is going to win a lot of awards. It deserves some of them. But writing? How can a silent movie get best screenplay?

Bridesmaids was a decent comedy but that's about it. I don't think there's anybody funnier on Earth than Kristin Wiig. But an Oscar? For this paint by numbers comedy? Wut?

Truth be told I didn't watch Margin Call or A Separation. But Margin Call isn't nominated for anything else so I assume that the writing must've been pretty damn good for it to get nominated out of the blue like this.  And I know A Separation is an Iranian movie. There's no way a movie from Iran is going to get nominated for an American award unless it's really great.

If I picked the nominees...

Midnight in Paris

Warrior

Beginners

50/50

Young Adult

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY

5    George Clooney, Grant Heslov, Beau Wilimon for “The Ides of March”

4    Peter Straughan and Bridget O’Connor for “Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy”

3    John Logan for “Hugo”

2    Aaron Sorkin, Steven Zaillian, Stan Chervin for “Moneyball”

1    Nat Faxon, Alexander Payne, Jim Rash for “The Descendants”

Ides of March was a decent flick but ultimately ended up rather pointless. It built a lot of momentum and seemed to be building towards something and then it just fizzled to a who gives a crap ending.

Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy?  More like Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Zzzzzzzzzzzzz. Just like Ides, it started off well but it bogged down. The first hour or so was pretty interesting but the second hour was boring, sleepy, slow and confusing.

You may be surprised that I pushed Moneyball up to two. While I didn't love it, they certainly came up with a mildly decent script despite the fact that they were telling the most useless story in the history of movies.

If I picked the nominees...

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

The Help

The Descendants

Drive

Moneyball

BEST ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE

5    Melissa McCarthy for “Bridesmaids”

4    Janet McTeer for “Albert Nobbs”

3    Berenice Bejo for “The Artist”

2    Octavia Spencer for “The Help” *prediction*

1    Jessica Chastain for “The Help"

This Melissa McCarthy thing has to be the worst joke ever. How in the piss is that hideous woman nominated for a friggin Oscar? Hands down, the worst nomination ever. Her character in Bridesmaids was stupid, useless, obnoxious, unnecessary, annoying, pointless and the complete opposite of funny. It's a character that has been in every single "raunchy" R rated comedy since the 80s. She was the "Booger" of Bridesmaids.  Nobody gave Booger the Oscar. I watched the whole movie expecting some big reveal that would explain why she deserves this nomination over other much more deserving people and there was NOTHING there.  She was by far the worst part of the movie, ruined every scene she was in and nearly ruined the whole movie. I don't get this at all and never will.

Ultimately my decision was only between Octavia Spencer and Jessica Chastain.  I gave Chastain a slight nod because I feel she's the one who had to stretch the most to really become the character she played. A character 100% nothing like Chastain. While Spencer pretty much just played the fat, sassy black lady. Not really all that much of a stretch. I thoroughly enjoyed Spencer but it seemed like her part was written specifically to be the role that stole the scenes she was in. It wasn't that Spencer stole the scenes, it was the script and pretty much anybody cast in that role would also get nominated. For me, Chastain was the one that truly stole every single scene she was in organically through nothing but her performance. Every time she was on screen I liked the movie more than the time she wasn't.

If I picked the nominees...

Sandra Bullock for "Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close"

Jessica Chastain for “The Help"

Octavia Spencer for “The Help”

Shailene Woodley for "The Descendants"

Rachel McAdams for "Midnight in Paris"

BEST ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE

5    Max Von Sydow for “Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close”

4    Jonah Hill for “Moneyball”

3    Kenneth Branagh for “My Week with Marilyn”

2    Christopher Plummer for “Beginners”  *prediction*

1    Nick Nolte for “Warrior"

Max Von Sydow is another head scratcher. He doesn't talk for the whole movie. He plays a mute who writes everything on a notepad. I COULD'VE DONE THAT!

Jonah Hill? Jonah Hill?? Seriously? Jonah Hill plays Jonah Hill in the movie. Am I supposed to be impressed by that? If this category was Best Jonah Hill Performance, I MIGHT agree with this choice.

Christopher Plummer is a great actor and was good in Beginners, a movie I really, really enjoyed. But I feel the performance isn't as great as everybody is making it out. It just feels like another Oscar bait performance. You used to be guaranteed to get a nomination if you played a retard, these days gay is the new retard. Plummer plays a man who decides to come out of the closet and live as an openly gay man in his late 70s/early 80s or so. Then after that he gets cancer. An old gay man with cancer? That's Oscar bait 101 these days. And in reality all Plummer really did was play Chris Plummer and then play Chris Plummer with a pink scarf. 

I don't really mean to take anything from it. It was good and I loved the movie. I was fully planning on giving my vote to Plummer because I liked the movie so much and for some reason this is its only nomination. But then I watched Warrior.

Nick Nolte blows all these other guys out of the water in Warrior. I say it's the best acting performance of the year, period, supporting, lead, female, male, period. He is absolutely riveting for every second of the movie. He plays a former alcoholic who is absolutely hated by his two sons. We see how much they hate him, we hear about his drinking and we hear about his abusive behavior, but Nolte plays it completely likeable and sympathetic. You just can't comprehend how this sad, pathetic old guy could be so hated by his own sons. It doesn't make sense. You feel sorry for the guy the entire time. But then there's one scene where we get to see what he was like drunk. He completely changes. His body changes, his face changes, he's ranting and raving like a maniac. The monster has been revealed but instead of fearing it you still feel nothing but sympathy that he has to live with that inside of him. Once you see Nolte in this movie it SHOULD be a no brainer.

If I picked the nominees...

Christopher Plummer for “Beginners”

Nick Nolte for “Warrior"

Albert Brooks for "Drive"

Corey Stoll for "Midnight in Paris"

John Hawkes for "Martha Macy May Marlene"

BEST ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE

5   Glenn Close for “Albert Nobbs”

4   Michelle Williams for “My Week with Marilyn”

3   Viola Davis for “The Help” *prediction*

2   Rooney Mara for “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo”

1   Meryl Streep for “The Iron Lady”

Am I really supposed to be impressed that Glenn Close played a man in a movie? Seriously? We've all thought she looked like a man for 40 years.

I really do like Michelle Williams. Been a fan since Dick. But I have grown really tired of how Hollywood has treated her since Heath Ledger. Nobody was a bigger fan of Heath Ledger than me. No fan was more bummed when he died. But ok, enough already. It was nice to see everybody rally around Michelle Williams then, but you've been given her awards for 4 years now. Ok, we get it. She's not THIS good. Let's end the pity party.

Rooney Mara did a shockingly good job in Dragon Tattoo.  She was a million times better in the role than the girl who originally played the part in the Swedish version. I almost talked myself into giving it to her based on the amount of times she showed her tits, but I couldn't bring myself to do it.

This is another category that should be just cut and dry. Meryl Streep is un-naturally good in Iron Lady. She doesn't play Margaret Thatcher, she becomes Margaret Thatcher. It's unbelievable. I forgot it was her for long stretches of time and then I'd wake up and go oh my God, that's Meryl Streep! Meryl Streep is by far the best and most consistent actor of any gender since the 70s. Others like DeNiro and Pacino have fallen while she not only continues, but improves. There seems to come a point with people like this that you stop caring, they're too good, we all know it, no need to give her yet another award. We start overlooking greatness just because it's been great for so long. But it's not time to do it yet when it comes to Streep. Iron Lady is the performance of a lifetime but somebody who I would've thought had already had her performance of a lifetime.

If I picked the nominees...

Rooney Mara for “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo”

Meryl Streep for “The Iron Lady”

Tilda Swinton for "We Need to Talk About Kevin"

Elizabeth Olsen for "Martha Marcy May Marlene"

Charlize Theron for "Young Adult"

BEST ACTOR IN A LEAD ROLE

5   Brad Pitt for “Moneyball”

4   Gary Oldman for “Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy”

3   Demian Bichir for “A Better Life”

2   Jean Dujardin for “The Artist” *prediction*

1   George Clooney for “The Descendants”

This is, by far, the weakest category.

Oh, look at me, I'm Brad Pitt and I play Brad Pitt in Moneyball. WHO CARES? I truly can't believe THIS is the movie Pitt got nominated for. I am not one of those Brad Pitt haters. I think the guy can be a great actor sometimes and has been in some of the coolest movies for two decades now. But Moneyball is the most boring Brad Pitt I've ever seen. He sleepwalks through the movie and just plays himself.

Same thing with Gary Oldman. Gary Oldman rules. Has been amaze-balls in dozens of movies. THIS is the one that gets nominated? The one where he just walks around and whispers for 3 hours?? Seriously?

Bichir did pretty good in A Better Life but felt very miss-cast. Totally wrong for the part. I never bought him in this role despite all his efforts.

In all honestly I would make this one a tie if I could. Clooney and Dujardin were both good in their movies but neither blew me away. Neither stood out from the other. So I just have to go with the fact that I've been a Clooney fan forever. I used to love his dad Nick Clooney on AMC even. I didn't find his performance in The Descendants better or worse than he usually in, but this guy has acted in, produced or directed some of my favorite movies of the last few years. Plus he handled the Batman and Robin fiasco as classy as anybody could've. So that gives him the edge over Dujardin in my book.

If I picked the nominees...

Michael Shannon for "Take Shelter"

Joseph Gordon-Levitt for "50/50"

Tom Hardy for "Warrior"

Ryan Gosling for "Drive"

Ewan McGregor for "Beginners"

ART DIRECTION

Pick - The Artist

Prediction - Hugo

CINEMATOGRAPHY

Pick - The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

Prediction - Tree of Life

COSTUME DESIGN

Pick - The Artist

Prediction - Jane Eyre

FILM EDITING

Pick - The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

Prediction - The Artist

MAKEUP

Pick - The Iron Lady

Prediction - The Iron Lady

ORIGINAL SCORE

Pick - The Artist

Prediction - The Artist

ORIGINAL SONG

Pick - Man or Muppet

Prediction - Man or Muppet

SOUND MIXING

Pick - Transformers

Prediction - Hugo

SOUND EDITING

Pick - Transformers

Prediction - Hugo

VISUAL EFFECTS

Pick - Transformers

Prediction - Rise of the Planet of the Apes

FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM

Pick - A Separation

Prediction -  A Separation

ANIMATED FEATURE FILM

Pick - Rango

Prediction - Rango

DOCUMENTARY FEATURE FILM

Pick - Paradise Lost 3

Prediction - Pina

Goodbye.

The 2011 Lethargic Oscar Picks Extravaganza!!!!

In last year's Oscar blog I said the nominations were the worst in history.  This year's group is better, but not by much.  I truly hated  most of them last year while this year there are only a couple I didn't like.  The problem is that I didn't love any of them.  Everything is fairly average or good, but not great.  So this year's blog should be quite a bit shorter than previous years because, honestly, there's not a lot to say.  If you don't love something and you don't hate something it's hard to come up with something to say.  "Meh" is a hard emotion to convey.

And it sucks having to write all this negative stuff.  I'm a movie lover, I watch every movie with the hope that it will be awesome.  Even if it's something I didn't want to see but got roped into seeing it anyway I cross fingers for a pleasant surprise.  For years I have argued against people who claimed Hollywood does nothing but put out popcorn blockbuster crap.  I've always been of the mind that Hollywood puts out just as much greatness as it does garbage.  But these last two years have been rough and I'm finding it harder and harder to argue against the haters.  I look at what is coming in 2011 and all I see is a bunch of sequels to bad movies, a slew of inferior remakes of great movies, a buttload of movies with 3D in the title and a kajillion mediocre non-Pixar animated movies.  I'm having trouble finding hope that next year's Oscars will be an improvement.

Here, I'll go ahead and tell you the 10 nominees for best picture next year...

Piranha 3DD
A Very Harold & Kumar Christmas
Footloose
Spy Kids 4
Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son
Mars Needs Moms!
Arthur
Johnny English Reborn
Paranormal Activity 3
The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn

I just made myself depressed.  Let's get this over with.  As always I rank every nominee from 5-1 with #1 being my pick.  I am also going to give my prediction as well as my personal picks.  With the categories nobody cares about I won’t talk about each nominee, but will in the important categories.  And I'm in a real rush trying to get this finished.  If you see any mistakes, just ignore them.

BEST SOUND MIXING

1 - Inception
5 (tie) - Salt  
5 (tie) - The Social Network  
5 (tie) - True Grit  
5 (tie) - The King's Speech

Come on.  Let's be serious here.  If Inception doesn't win every single technical awards then just stop having Oscars.  Best movie?  Probably not.  Most technically impressive?  23459023% yes!

Prediction:  Inception (or I riot)

BEST SOUND EDITING

1 - Inception  
2 - Toy Story 3  
3 - TRON: Legacy
4 - True Grit  
5 - Unstoppable

How does Unstoppable get any nomination?  It is quite possibly the dumbest movie in history.  And I usually love everything Tony Scott does but, uggh.  I usually lean toward the animated films in this category but like I 

said before....INCEPTION!

Prediction:  Inception

BEST VISUAL EFFECTS

1 - Inception
2 - Hereafter
3 - Alice in Wonderland
4 - Harry Potter
5 - Iron Man 2

How much do I hate Iron Man 2?  I put it below Harry Potter and I've never even seen a Harry Potter movie.  I wish Iron Man 2 was nominated more so I could bash it more.  One of the biggest duds in history. Alice in Wonderland just looks silly and stupid, Hereafter had some cool moments but Inception FOLDED A FRIGGIN CITY.

Prediction:  Inception

BEST MAKEUP

1 - Barney's Version    
2 - The Way Back  
3 - The Wolfman

I wasn't able to see either Barney or The Way Back.  I was able to see The Wolfman.  If we're talking Lon Chaney Wolfman I'd give it the award in a second.  If we're talking about that steaming pile of monkey crap they put out last year, well, go screw.  At least Barney's Version has good word of mouth.

Prediction:  The Wolfman  (Just to annoy me)

BEST ORIGINAL SONG
"Coming Home" - Country Strong  
"I See the Light" - Tangled  
"If I Rise" - 127 Hours
"We Belong Together" - Toy Story 3

Do I have to pick one of these?  I assumed I would pick Coming Home because I figured it'd be a standard country pop song but it's not.  It's terrible.  I See the Light is the exact same song that has been in every Disney movie in history.  If I Rise sounds like some awful noise you hear during a massage.  We Belong Together?  How many times is Randy Newman going to win an award for that one songs he knows?  Pathetic.  I'm flipping a coin.  Ok, I'm picking If I Rise!

Prediction:  Might as well stick with the coin… If I Rise

BEST ORIGINAL SCORE
1 - Inception  
2 - The Social Network
3 - How to Train Your Dragon
4 - The King's Speech  
5 - 127 Hours  

The way I always decide who I pick for best score is by sitting here, staring at the screen and trying to remember the main theme from the movies.  A good score should stick in your head.  The only two that did that here is Inception and Social Network.  The difference is that the Inception score is actual music while The Social Network's score was nothing but a bunch of typical beep, bop, boop garbage that Trent Reznor always does.  Way to really branch out there Trent.  Boo.

Prediction:  I’m torn between King’s Speech and Social Network.  I think Speech will get it but Hollywood probably wants to make themselves feel “hip” by putting Trent Reznor on stage.  I guess I’ll stick with my gut and say King’s Speech.

BEST FILM EDITING
1 - 127 Hours
2 - Black Swan  
3 - The Fighter  
4 - The King's Speech
5 - The Social Network  

Most of these didn't really stand out to me in either a bad or good way.  They were all pretty average and what you expect.  I give a bit of a nod to 127 Hours due to the fact that it's an entire movie about a guy stuck between a rock and a wall.  Nothing happens.  It took a lot of magic to keep this movie interesting and entertaining and a lot of that magic came from the editing. 

Prediction:  The Social Network

BEST COSTUME DESIGN
1 - The King's Speech  
2 - The Tempest  
3 - Alice in Wonderland  
4 - True Grit
5 - I Am Love  

I watched I Am Love after the nominations came out so I knew to pay attention to the costumes and I still can't come up with a single reason why this stupid foreign movie nobody has ever heard of is in this category.  It looks like just normal everyday clothes you see on the street for the most part.  Oh, look, it's a guy in pants and a shirt, that deserves an award.

True Grit looks like they did nothing but go to one of them places where you get your picture taken dressed up like a cowboy and raided their closet.  Alice in Wonderland?  Give me a break. The Tempest?  I have no idea what this movie even is but I'm sure it can't be any worse than the other three.  I give it to King's Speech by process of elimination.

Prediction:  The King’s Speech

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY
1 - Inception  
2 - Black Swan  
3 - The King's Speech  
4 - The Social Network  
5 - True Grit

I wouldn't be sad to see either Inception or Black Swan win this and one of them should undoubtedly do so.  Aronofsky's movies are always shot beautifully but every frame of Inception not only looks good, but also important.  Wally Pfister is the best cinematographer in the world today.  He should win this every single time he's nominated.

Prediction:  True Grit (Roger Deakins has been nominated 9 times.  They probably give it to him on the 10^th try.)

BEST ART DIRECTION

1 - Inception  
2 - The King's Speech
3 - Harry Potter
4 - Alice in Wonderland  
5 - True Grit

FOLDED A CITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Prediction:  The King’s Speech.  Or maybe they go crazy and give it to Alice.

BEST DOCUMENTARY
1 - Restrepo  
2 - Gasland  
3 - Inside Job  
4 - Waste Land
5 - Exit Through the Gift Shop

This category is the most puzzling for me.  Once again it's a bunch of movies that are OK, nothing great, nothing bad, just a bunch of movies that are there.  The puzzler is that I've gotten to the point where I watch documentaries way  more than I watch traditional movies and I saw a bunch of great documentaries in the past year.  I just don't understand how out of all the fantastic documentaries that came out that the Academy picked this five as the best.  It makes no sense.  Where is Waiting for Superman, The Tillman Story, Cropsey, Best Worst Movie, A Piece of Work, Scrappers, Collapse, Tabloid, Winebago Man, American, Who is Harry Nilsson, and on and on and on?

The biggest head scratcher for me is Exit Through the Gift Shop.  A very entertaining movie for the most part and a great documentary for an hour or so, but then it goes out of left field and turns into a big hoax.  I don't know how something this fake gets nominated for best documentary.  If this can get nominated then Blair Witch and Cloverfield should've been nominated here too.  And I was really enthralled with the first part of the movie, the actual documentary part, where we got to see all the street artists do their work.  That was interesting.  But the last act not only came off completely fake but also ruined the movie because it was just flat our boring.

I pick Restrepo for the win.  Not because I loved it, because I didn't, it was kind of boring.  But much like The Cove last year, this is a movie that people should just see to have their eyes opened.  It follows a group of soldiers in the most dangerous part of Afghanistan, it doesn't really tell a "story" but it just shows what hell we're allowing these people to be put through.  Anybody who still thinks this war is a good idea should watch this and see just what they're doing to our own people for no real reason.

Prediction:  Inside Job seems to be in the lead but I wouldn’t be shocked if they pick Gift Shop just to see what kind of wackiness Banksy tries to pull.

BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM
1 - Dogtooth
2 - Biutiful
3 - In a Better World  
4 - Incendies  
5 - Outside the Law

This won’t win, without a doubt, but I pick Dogtooth anyway and I would piss my pants if it actually won.  Dogtooth is, by far, the most insane movie ever nominated for an Oscar.  I cannot understand how it ended up here.  It is just non-stop crazy for 90 minutes.  It's not art, it's just crazy.  There is zero redeemable quality in this movie except that it will blow your mind at how over the top crazy it is.  If it wins, people will search it out and watch it (It's on Netflix Instant...WATCH IT!) and  I want to imagine what the reaction will be when all these people who have no clue about it say, oh, here's that movie that won the Oscar, let's watch it, honey!  People will lose their minds watching this. 


I'm trying really hard to not say too much about Dogtooth because I want people to watch it with their jaw on the floor the same way I did but the movie is about a man who keeps his near adult aged children locked away from the outside world for no apparent reason.  They have a wall around the house and the kids aren't allowed to go outside it because he convinces them that cats are out there and the cats will kill them.  To protect themselves from the cats he teaches them to get down on their hands and knees and bark like dogs.  He convinces them that they have a brother who lives on the other side of the wall and the kids spend a lot time trying to talk to this brother and throwing him food over the wall.  Until he gets "killed" by the cats. He tells the kids that nobody is allowed to visit the outside world until one of their canine teeth (Dogtooth) falls out.  The only outsider they ever get to see is this girl who he pays to come to the house and have sex with his son.  Until he ends up bashing her head in with a VCR, of course.

And this is the sanest part of the movie. You can sort of understand this part.  Ok, he wants his family locked away from the world so he makes up some crazy stories to convince them to stay, right?  But then he just does so much other stuff that shows what a sadistic maniac he is.  The children are taught the wrong meanings of words.  They have to listen to a tape recording everyday where the father gives them definitions of words but teaches them things like "sea" means a chair or "excursion" means flooring material.  This trick brings great hilarity when one of the girls asks somebody to lick her keyboard.  He also convinces the children that airplanes are nothing but toys.  So he throws little airplane toys in the yard and whenever the kids see a real one fly over he goes "I think that one fell in the garden!" and then all the kids run around the garden until they find the little airplane that fell out of the sky.

You think I've given a lot of spoilers here?  There's more.  So much more.  It's crazy.  And I have no idea what it is.  The trailer calls it a satire, but of what??  Is this a comedy?  A horror movie?  I don't know.  All I know is I watched all these Oscar movies and I would forget which movie I saw by the next day, I will never forget this one.

Watch the trailer here if you don't believe me: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QFtDzK64-pk

Prediction:  Biutiful or In A Better World…eh, Biutiful (Boo)

BEST ANIMATED FEATURE
1 - Toy Story 3
2 - The Illusionist  
3 - How to Train Your Dragon  

Is there any doubt?

Prediction:  Toy Story 3 (Is there any doubt?)

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
1 - 127 Hours  
2 - Toy Story 3  
3 - Winter's Bone
4 - The Social Network  
5 - True Grit  

I...I just...I just don't know.  Another category that is just....meh.  Outside of True Grit they were all decent, but none were great.  I enjoyed 127 Hours the most.  I guess.  Maybe?  I think.

Prediction:  The Social Network

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
1 - The King's Speech
2 - Inception  
3 - The Kids Are All Right
4 - Another Year  
5 - The Fighter  

Same thing.  All good.  None great.  I give it to King's Speech because there is no way that boring story should've become such an interesting and watchable movie.

Prediction:  The King's Speech

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS

5 - Hailee Steinfeld - True Grit

People have been raving about this girl ever since True Grit came out.  Sorry, but I couldn't stand her.  I have nothing against the actress, but the role was 100% unbelievable and 100% unbearably annoying.  Is it fair to hold the role against the actress?  No.  But I don't care, these are my picks.  I hated the character and I hated the movie.  F True Grit.  F Hailee Steinfeld.  F The Coen Brothers.

4 - Jacki Weaver - Animal Kingdom

A true head scratcher.  Don't know what Animal Kingdom is?  Don't worry, you're not alone.  I'd imagine most people never heard of this until the nominations came out.  And after seeing it I really don't understand it.  She wasn't bad, she did just fine, I have no complaints about the performance.  I just don't see how it's possible that this is one of the five best performances of the last year.  I don't know why they sought out this tiny little movie from Australia to nominate this person nobody has ever heard of for playing a character that was pretty silly and nearly completely unimportant to the plot of the movie.  I just don't get it.  I liked the movie, but if I had watched it beforehand there would be no way I would’ve ever thought anything about it would deserve an Oscar and this woman in particular would've been last on the list.  I would trade this nomination for Mila Kunis in Black Swan in a second.

3 - Melissa Leo - The Fighter
2 - Amy Adams - The Fighter

I know I'm going to come off as a broken record but once again these two fall into the "good but not great" category.  I can't say anything bad about either one.  They're both great actresses but I don't think these roles are really all that Oscar worthy.  These seem more like nominations based on previous performances than on the one they're actually nominated for and they've both reached the point where almost anything  they do is considered award worthy automatically.  And I'm a fan of Amy Adams.  I'd love to say I want her to win and I wouldn't be mad if she did but I just can't say that.  And I only put her over Leo because she's the only actress on the list who I'd like to take out behind the middle school and get pregnant.

1 - Helena Bonham Carter - The King's Speech

There have been years where I would've put Carter last because there would be so many other great performances.  This year?  Not so much. But she did do a great job in the movie.  And you know how I know she did a great job?  Because I can't stand Helena Bonham Carter.  Usually when I see her name in a movie's cast it's like Dracula seeing a cross.  Yet she completely won me over in this movie and came off extremely likeable.  I don't know if that will ever happen again so she better take this award now.

Prediction: Melissa Leo

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR

5 - Jeremy Renner - The Town

In last year's Oscar blog, when Renner was nominated for The Hurt Locker I said "every time I see this guy's face I want to punch him."  I still stand by that.  I wasn't as annoyed at him in this movie but yet he's still playing the cliché KRAZZZEEEEEEE!!!! guy that he played in that movie.  And as far as I can tell he's played that exact same character in every movie I've ever seen him in.  He's like some relic from the 1980s, yet not one of the good ones.  I  had enough with the KRAZZEEEEE!!!! guy who plays by his own rules in Cobra. 

4 - Geoffrey Rush - The King's Speech

On the other hand, I love Geoffrey Rush.  He's good in everything he's in.  I don't knock him getting this nomination but there's no way he deserves to actually win it.  He's a fantastic actor, but his role wasn't the role of the movie, know what I'm sayin'?

3 - John Hawkes - Winter's Bone  

Hawkes is a modern day JT Walsh.  He's the guy who has been in everything but nobody knows who the hell he is.  Lost, Deadwood, Eastbound and Down, 24, X-Files, The Perfect Storm, From Dusk till Dawn, The Crow, The Adventures of Brisco County Jr. and Night of the Scarecrow are just some of his 107 credits.  I'm pretty sure he's been in at least 32% of everything that has kicked ass in the past 20 years.  But, as I'll get to later, I found myself very underwhelmed by Winter's Bone.  There just wasn't enough for Hawkes to work with here outside of maybe 1 scene.  I wouldn't mind seeing him win, but I'm not sure it should be for this.

2 - Mark Ruffalo - The Kids Are All Right

Ruffalo is another of my favorite actors and in most years I would pick him for this hands down.  I thought he did terrific in this movie.  He was given an incredibly hard job.  He had to play a guy who did some pretty dumb things, yet remain completely likable to the viewer.  When you're a guy sleeping with somebody's wife and actively trying to break up a marriage, it's hard to be the sympathetic character, yet Ruffalo pulls it off here.  I was cheering more for his character to have a happy ending than I was for the couple.  I'd love to see him win but it's not going to happen because this is one of the few categories that is a 100% lock.

1 - Christian Bale - The Fighter

Christian Bale is the greatest actor working today and his performance in The Fighter is more proof of that.  Nobody out there becomes a character the way Bale does.  We've never seen Christian Bale on film.  While other actors continue making millions doing nothing but playing different versions of themselves, Bale is the one guy who always plays the character.  He transforms himself physically and mentally for every role.  Watching him for the last 10 years going from American Psycho to The Machinist to Batman to Harsh Times to The Fighter, with many more in-between, has been like watching DeNiro in the 70s and 80s going from Taxi Driver to The Deer Hunter to Raging Bull to The King of Comedy.  Like watching Pacino before he decided to just be the short guy yelling in every movie.  The fact that Bale has never won an Oscar is crazy.  The fact that he hasn't even been nominated before is embarrassing.

But I totally see why this is the movie that finally got the attention he longed deserved.  Once again he makes a complete physical and mental transformation to not play Dickie Eklund, but to become him.  When you see Dickie and you see Bale's performance there is zero difference.  He looks, talks and moves exactly like him.  Bale's energy is gone and Dickie's energy has replaced it.  It's one of his best performances ever yet it's more glaring in this movie because the "star" of the movie is Mark Wahlberg.  Wahlberg has had a good acting career.  A few great movies and a few clunkers.  He's had some Oscar level performances of his own, but for the most part he's fallen into the category I mentioned above, the actor who does nothing but play himself in every role.  Mark Wahlberg made no effort whatsoever to play Mickey Ward.  Zero.  It was simply Mark Wahlberg as a boxer.  It's funny because he's playing a boxer famous for his heart, but in playing the role Wahlberg showed no heart.  He just cashed a check.  No different than the Max Payne check.  He has the tools to be great, except for the drive, dedication and heart that Bale shows with every role.

Prediction: Christian Bale (duh)

BEST ACTRESS

5 - Annette Bening - The Kids Are All Right  

All I can think of when it comes to this nomination is....really?  Don't get it at all.  Annette Bening, best actress?  It really makes no sense.  She really wasn't even the lead in the movie.  Julianne Moore was in the movie way more and she was way more important to the movie than Bening was.  All Bening did was play a mad old lesbo.  She had no story, she had no real scenes of importance, she had no development.  Julianne Moore was the one who carried this movie.  Her character was the entire driving force behind the plot.  She's the only one that did anything.  Bening just stood around and complained. I would get this way more if it was supporting actress, but lead?  No way, no how.

4 - Jennifer Lawrence - Winter's Bone  

Really don't know what to say about this one.  Broken record again.  She was good...but Oscar worthy?  Nah.

3 - Natalie Portman - Black Swan

I don't get all the hoopla over this one either.  Was she good?  Yes.  Was it some amazing discovery or the best performance of her career?  No, not really.  She was just the same old reliable Natalie Portman she's always been since The Professional.  I'm not against her winning it, but it certainly wouldn't be my first choice.

2 - Nicole Kidman - Rabbit Hole  
1 - Michelle Williams - Blue Valentine

It used to be a rule that anytime you played a Nazi or a retard you'd get an Oscar.  Apparently we can now add unhappy housewife to that rule.  Both of these women played one this year so I grouped them together.  I also grouped them together because I've found it hard to choose between them.  They both did good work and both played the same type of character.  I was originally going to give it to Kidman on the basis that I went into the movie thinking there was no way I could spend 2 hours staring at her horribly plastic surgery disfigured face and actually buy her playing a "normal" housewife at this point.  Seriously, why did she do that to her face?  It's worse than Meg Ryan.  She's got to hold the record for quickest to go from hot to not. I did research.  In 2001 she was normal.  In 2002 she started looking weird.  In 2003 she looked like The Phantom of the Opera.  But, anyway, I thought there was no way this Botox monster would be believable but by the end of the movie I completely believed it.  She was great. And her face almost looked normal again.

But I find myself leaning toward Williams on the basis that she seemed to have way more to do with her role.  Kidman "simply" played the unhappy housewife.  Williams had to play both the young in love version of the character and the old unhappy housewife version.  I believe she showed just a tad bit more in this movie than Kidman did in hers.  And quite frankly I just like Williams and she's somebody who is very easy to cheer for.  She's been around for what feels like decades and ever since she got out of that Dawson's Creek crap she has put together a very interesting, and completely unheralded, body of work.  She could've done what all the other pretty young girls do and just go for the romcom ATM.  Instead of acting like all these young vapid idiots that infest Hollywood, she went off the beaten path.  She didn't go out looking paychecks, she went out looking for good and/or interesting roles.  It would be nice to finally see her get her due.

Prediction: Natalie Portman

BEST ACTOR

5 - Jesse Eisenberg - The Social Network  

Another anti-Christian Bale performance.  Eisenberg makes no attempt at all to portray Mark Zuckerberg.  He just plays a more annoying and more angry version of Jesse Eisenberg.  And I didn't think Jesse Eisenberg could get any more annoying.  I admit that Eisenberg had a few good moments in this movie, but if you're playing a real person, make a little bit of effort.

4 - Jeff Bridges - True Grit

Jeff Bridges got his due last year.  He's not going to get another one for this movie where he did nothing but a bad imitation of Karl from Slingblade.

3 - Javier Bardem - Biutiful  

Hell if I know.  Seriously, how can you tell great acting when you the actor isn't speaking English?  He's probably really good but if I'm reading the movie his performance is kinda going to get obscured.

2 - Colin Firth - The King's Speech  

Firth did a good job but I can't help but feel it has been a tad over-rated.  Originally I was actually expecting to put him lower.  But then I listened to the real recordings of the actual King he's playing and he sounds exactly like the dude.  And as I let the movie sink in and digest over a few days, the more and more I liked both him and the movie.

1 - James Franco - 127 Hours

If the lead in this movie fails.  The movie fails.  The lead didn't fail.  The movie didn't fail.  None of these other movies relied on it's star more than this movie did.  This entire movie rested on James Franco's shoulders.  I went back and forth between Franco and Firth for days.  But I just feel that Franco was much more important to his movie's success than Firth was to his.  And I like Pineapple Express.  So there.

Prediction: Colin Firth

BEST DIRECTOR

5 - Joel and Ethan Coen - True Grit

The only award these morons deserve is award for the brothers I'd most like see die  in a Chinese mine explosion. I am so sick of watching these two idiots get praised for one over-rated piece of crap letdown after another.  And the gall to try to pretend like they didn't know True Grit was already a movie?  To claim this isn't a remake?  Kiss my hairy ass.

4 - David Fincher - The Social Network  

David Fincher deserves an Oscar.  No question about it.  Much like Bale it is mind boggling that he doesn't have a room full of them.  Give it to him for Zodiac, for Fight Club, for Seven but for this??  Not winning for those but winning for this boring tripe would be a joke.

3 - David O. Russell - The Fighter

Eh.  I mean.  Uh.  Yeah.  Nothing bad to say but....meh.

2 - Tom Hooper - The King's Speech

He's probably going to win anyway so what does it matter if I don't pick him?

1 - Darren Aronofsky - Black Swan  

Nobody loves Aronofsky's work more than I do.  But I just can't bring myself to understand all the hoopla over this Black Swan movie.  Much like Fincher I'd find it hilarious, yet sad, that he'd win for this and not his other work.  But at the end of the day he's one of my favorite director's ever so I kinda have to be for him.  

It's just really, really sad that Christopher Nolan isn't in this category yet again.  He did the most incredible technically impressive directing job of the year by far and he worked on Inception for nearly 10 years.  Nobody put in the same amount of work that Nolan did.  Nobody.  To get passed over again while Russell and the Coens make it in makes me sick.

Prediction:  David Fincher

BEST PICTURE

10 - True Grit

I don't know if you figured this out or not but I really hated True Grit.  The sad thing is there was no movie that came out this year that I wanted to like more.  I had very high hopes.  Watching the movie was like ok, ok, ummmm....something's bound to happen soon....it's kinda boring so far....but, I know it's gonna be good in the end.....pretty soon things are gonna pick up and.....wait....it's over.  Even after watching I didn't know if I liked it or not but after a few days of thinking about it, I grew to despise it.

The movie had everything going for it, a great cast ,a great story, visuals were beautiful....but the pieces just never clicked together.  It's like they built the frame for a beautiful house but never put in the walls.  The characters were all nothing but empty shells filled with clichés.  Rooster Cogburn is supposed to be this charming rogue jackass who hates this little girl and is only helping her for the money.  He's supposed to slowly develop feelings for her through their ordeal and then in the end he turns out to have a heart of gold.  When he saves the girl's life at the end of the movie it should be a kick ass great cinematic moment.  Yet the Coens completely fumble this entire aspect of the movie.  They make the mistake of showing Rooster's heart of gold from the very start thus completely ruining the moment where he goes from charming rogue to life saving hero.  He obviously likes the girl from the very first time they meet, they even have him save her from a spanking early on.  They spend the whole movie acting like best friends up until the scene before the final act where they throw in this idiotic moment where he suddenly gets mad for no reason and tries to make her leave.  By that time, trying to put this wedge in-between the two characters is way too little, way too late and completely unbelievable.  No matter how many times I've seen Star Wars, when Han Solo shows up to help Luke blow up the Death Star it is always an exciting moment.  When this guy turns, it's like yeah, duh, so what?

The other problem with the movie is the complete and utter lack of a villain.  We spend most of the movie just watching people ride horses through the woods.  There’s no tension or sense of danger for these characters whatsoever.  The villains don't even show up until the last 10 minutes of the movie.  Then they have this huge cowboy shootout.  You got Rooster facing off against a whole posse of black hats all by himself with the music swelling to let you know that this is supposed to be important.  But it's not.  Why am I supposed to care about Rooster killing these guys when I haven't seen them do one bad deed?  The few minutes the main villain, Lucky Ned, is on screen he seems to be a pretty reasonable, nice fella.  He protects the girl and refuses to let the other members of his gang hurt her.  Why am I supposed to get behind the so called "hero" blatantly murdering these guys? We're never shown a single shred of proof that this guy has done anything all that wrong.  We're just told these are the bad guys so you shouldn’t like them.  At least in wrestling when somebody turns bad they hit somebody with a chair or something. 

9 - The Social Network

This movie grated on my nerves.  The story just isn't all that interesting.  Who gives a rat's ass about this?  A whole movie about some douchebags making a website?  This movie is nothing but rich white kids typing on keyboards, talking way too fast and arguing about money.  WHO CARES??

8 - Winter's Bone

Take almost everything I said about True Grit and apply it to Winter's Bone.  It's pretty much the exact same movie.  A young, tough talking, wise beyond her years teenage girl enlists the help of charming rogue jack ass Uncle to hunt down the murderer of her father.  It's the exact same plot.  The problem with Winter's Bone is that it never led anywhere.  At least True Grit had the big shoot out at the end that made no sense.  Winter's Bone kept building and building to what you just knew was going to be a crazy climax and then....oh, it's over. 

I did not hate this movie.  I truly didn't.  It's a better version of True Grit than True Grit is.  But it's underwhelming and I just wish something had happened.

7 - The Fighter

This movie is only worth seeing for Christian Bale.  Take him out and it's the exact same sports movie we've all seen a million times.  It's just another inferior Rocky.

6 - Black Swan

I like Black Swan.  I do.  I just don't understand why it's getting any of the praise it's getting.  All it is is a standard horror movie.  To be specific, it's a Japanese horror movie.  I've seen countless Japanese horror movies and that's exactly what I felt like I was watching here.  Even visually, it looked just like Japanese horror movies.  It has that same weird mind bending type plot of a Japanese horror movie.  Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis even look Japanese if you squint.  I'm watching it and I'm thinking, if this deserves an Oscar then so does Ju-On.  And the ending is so painfully obvious from about 10-15 minutes in that by time it happened I didn't care as I grew tired of waiting for the big “shocker” to be revealed.

5 - The Kids Are All Right

I enjoyed watching this one.  It was a fun little movie.  But I don't find it to be a good movie because the movie is good.  It's one of those movies that's kinda so-so but is made fun to watch because of the people in it.  Mark Ruffalo and Julianne Moore made the movie.  They were fun to watch.  They had good chemistry and made it enjoyable.  You take them out and my enjoyment goes with them.  The writing wasn't great, the directing wasn't great, the story wasn't great.  The two leads were and that’s all.

4 - 127 Hours

Ok, look.  It's 9:30 on Friday night and I'm still trying to get this done.  It's almost time for the friggin Oscars already and I still have to proofread so let's just make this quick.  I really liked this movie but I didn't love it.  I was actually close to picking it but at the end of the day it slipped for me.  If it won, it'd be a pleasant surprise and I wouldn't be mad, but I can't talk myself into picking it.

3 - Toy Story 3

Sometimes you just gotta go with what was the most fun thing to watch and Toy Story 3 was by far the most fun movie in this group.  It's funny and more action packed than even Inception was.  I honestly thought I was going to pick it but, much like 127 Hours, my thinking shifted and it slipped.

2 - Inception

Up until 5 minutes ago I had Inception as my top pick.  Is it the best movie?  Probably not.  But when the movies are as mediocre as this group mostly is, I generally tend to side on which movie was the most impressive.  Inception is that movie by far and it's the only movie on this list I will see more than once.  It is visually amazing, it's a big budget action flick that challenges its viewers mentally, it has a lot going for it.  What it lacks is a great story.  It has a great premise and amazing effects but at the end of the day it's just about some guys trying to steal something.  It didn't engage me.  I didn't really care about any of the characters in it, I didn't care if DiCaprio got to see his kids again, I didn't care that he lost his wife, I didn't care about any of it, I just wanted to see them fold a city.  I will still cheer for this movie and will still be amazed by some of the stuff they managed to do but it's not my pick.

1 - The King's Speech

This is a movie that is way, way, way, way better than it should be.  I didn't want to see it at all.  Who wants to watch a guy fight a stutter for 2 hours? But unlike True Grit, everything just clicked.  Everybody did their job, everything worked, all the pieces went together and somehow this boring story ended up engaging and even fun.  Every single character is likable on some level, even the jerks. And the dynamic lingering around in the background of this stuttering muttering prick having to somehow lead his country into war against Hitler, a guy who could give a speech like nobody's business, is something that really put the movie over the top for me.

And I just noticed something odd…. my reasons for picking this movie is almost exactly the same reasons why I picked An Eduction last year.  So in order to save time I'm just going to copy and paste my An Eduction review from last year and update it....

10 years from now I will look back at 2009 2010 and the only movie I'll still give a hoot about is Watchmen Kick Ass. I likely won't even remember watching An Education The King's Speech. But out of these 10 nominated movies it is by far the best of the bunch and I would say it's maybe the only one one of the few that would get an Oscar nomination in any other "good" year. It's not a great movie. It's not some great story that blows you away with its twists and turns. It's just a good, solid, well made movie with an extremely likable cast and that is the main thing that separates it from the other movies. It's likable. The characters and the actors who play them, every single one, are likable. The main characters, the supporting characters, the heroes, the villains, they all have some degree of likability to them. I enjoyed being with these people for a couple of hours. Unlike KRAZEEEEE!!!! guy the annoying little girl in True Grit or the rich white woman   characters rich white guys in The Social Network, I cared about these characters and what happened to them. Also unlike the other movies, I can't find a flaw to complain about or make fun of. The writing is fantastic, every single character is fully fleshed out and goes through their own big or small arcs. No character ends the movie the same person they were at the start. It’s not the big flashy spectacles some of these other movies are, it's just a good, solid, competent movie with a great cast and great writing. In other years that might not be enough to make it my favorite, but this year it is.

Prediction: The King’s Speech.

And with that I am done.  I wish I started this earlier so I wasn't so rushed.  Gottagokthxbye.